9/12/2008

Trust

My focus has been on the news once again. My oldest son lives in Houston and my youngest son lives in North Carolina. Last week Tropical storm Hannah hit North Carolina and by tonight, Hurricane Ike is supposed to attack Galveston with a vengeance. 'The Boys' are both grown, mid to late 20's, and live lives that are completely their own. I can't be there to protect them like I did when they were small. My only recourse is to pray for their protection.

Years ago, when my world was out of control and I finally learned that I can't manage my life on my own, I turned to God. I 'needed' Him for more than just on Sunday mornings. All my problems couldn't be solved during an hour service at a local church. My problems were at home to meet me when I left the church and pulled into the driveway. I needed my Father God on Monday morning and all through the week. I used to have a saying ~ if it wasn't for fear, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. I lived in constant fear. Fear of failure at work, fear of not being able to make ends meet, and fear of being a bad parent. For years, I burned the candle at both ends, trying to be the best at everything and keep the fear away. It took alot of years, but I learned that's not how it works.

During those times, I started seeking the Father. God said that if we come to Him as a little child, He will be faithful. I clung to that promise with all my might, and I learned that He is truly a Father ... my Father. He taught me how to never live in fear again. I get concerned frequently; but not afraid. When I was seeking God during that dark time, I looked very closely at the book of Genesis. God created Adam/man for fellowship with Him. The Scriptures talk of how God & man would walk in the garden and talk daily. That didn't sound like a Sunday morning thing to me. I wanted that. I didn't want my time in prayer to be just "God bless this one and that one, or my usual: "God, HELP!" when I was in over my head. I wanted that closeness that the Bible talked about for me.

Everything boiled down to the simple equation: Lack of fear comes with trust. Did I trust God to help me? Did I trust Him to handle the problems that were threatening us? I've learned that if I can't do anything about it, then I have to give it to God. God created the universe. He keeps the earth and all the planets spinning and on track. Why can't I trust Him with my simple needs?

I try to start each day simply talking to God as I sip my first cup of coffee and considering the day ahead. Often when my hands are busy, I talk to Him about the things that are rattling around in my head. The line of communication stay 'open' until I close my eyes at night. Am I this super-spiritual person? No. Just a woman that understands all too well her own weaknesses. There are very few things in life that I can change; (and I gave up on changing people completely) That's God's job.

The tropical storm Hannah blew through right on schedule, and everyone in North Carolina got wet, but they are fine. Hurricane Ike will blow through east Texas and cause a considerable mess. God and I will talk about it frequently today & tomorrow; and I trust Him to take care of my son and the people I love there. Prayer doesn't always stop bad things from happening; but God will get everyone through the hard times in His own way. God is in control and I trust Him.

May the Lord bless you.

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